Recently, more and more women have been coming out and sharing their stories and trauma, but here’s the thing; women are talking about their experiences, which is incredible. And also entirely non-inclusive.
Men have been sharing their stories, and it has gotten more attention. But nobody’s done anything. For women, resources are available at every corner. Not that it makes the situation more straightforward, but they’re there. For men? Hardly anything is in place. So for any man who feels courageous enough to say something, to defy society’s expectations of strength and resilience, and talk about his issues, he has nowhere to go.
Steve Garrow, a security guard at Arvada West and former Northglenn Police Officer, in positions such as detective, undercover detective, SWAT, and Seargent thinks, “It makes it a lot harder for the guys, because all of the abuse shelters, all of that kind of stuff is geared for women. There’s really not going to be a lot of stuff for men to be able to have. You’d have a victim advocate come in, talk to them hand them some brochures and that kind of stuff, but if you had a man that was being abused, who was being controlled as far as for money, didn’t have any place to go, you really didn’t have any place to be able to send them, to be able to help them.”
A-West students answer a poll, where 72% of voters agree that there are fewer resources for men in violent situations.
All their lives, men are told, ‘Be strong,’ ‘You’re the man of the house,’ ‘Men don’t cry.’ There’s this preconceived notion that men are incapable of being the victim. A stigma of lies about what strength looks like is being pushed onto their shoulders.

Garrow says, “I think the more that men are told, ‘it’s okay to cry,’ ‘it’s okay to have emotions,’ ‘it’s okay to show your feelings,’ I think the more of that that comes along, I think that will help a male if they’re ever put into that situation at some time.”
A-West students agree. In a poll done on March 29th, 73% of voters said they felt pressured by societal stigmas that men need to be strong and lack emotion, and 87% of voters said they had been told they needed to be strong because they were a man, “Men don’t cry,” or something similar to this nature.
Even as this goal is worked towards, men are still being treated horribly, and won’t say anything because of pervading beliefs and stereotypes that the woman is always the victim. Biases are corroding our justice system, from the media to the judicial system itself.
Garrow agrees, “Lots of times, guys, when they are the victim, they really don’t want to cooperate and tell you, because that’s where that ‘being macho’ comes in. They don’t want to be known as [weak]…and then when they do, lots of times, they may take the beating, they may take the bites, they may take the slaps, they may take all that kind of stuff, and then when you’re there, you find out what the female has done to them, then, there’s nothing, really, to help them with.”
Even Sheltering Wings agrees, “Just as women have long fought to be believed when they report abuse, men face a similar fight – and similar biases and prejudices. In an 11-year study reported in the journal BMJ Open, researchers found that men avoid seeking assistance because they fear people won’t believe them and/or disrespect them for not being masculine.”
According to The National Domestic Violence Hotline, “One in seven men age 18+ in the U.S. has been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in his lifetime. One in 10 men has experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner.”
There are so many men out there, in desperate need of help and support, but have none due to a lack of resources based on a stigma about being a man.

If you or someone you know requires help, access this hotline and be connected to someone. In an emergency, however, please call the police first.